life makes life harder

I have strong personality, I believe whatever I do is right. I hate to obey others even my parents. Tomorrow I will be going back to spore, I feel happy do I? well, not as anxious as 2 or 3 weeks ago. Internship is over, hell yeah is over!!! My mum was telling me to go back straight home on saturday morning when I arrived on friday night. It means I wouldnt have the time to meet up with some of my friends in spore. Everything doesnt go as it was planned. Damn.. I m really seriously tired, despite the fact that there is no more physical burden waiting for me. I m tired, tired of leading my life. I need some time to be alone, so probably going back to indonesia straight will be the best choice. Still I am swearing non stop...... I went back to school this morning and it was indeed a hell freaking tiring journey, see i can even here my roommate snooring, he doesnt do so often. Maru is sincere of sending me to the airport tomorrow, but seriously I prefer to go alone. I said goodbye to many others I met in La Reserve. I will miss all my teammates even though they once pissed me off. I will miss Agustian for bein lik an elder brother who never stops nagging at whatever I do, despite I still think I did a better job than he does. And I will miss leon who always grumbled at me and saying ' your face like shit!!!' all time, he is probably beacoming one of my best friend, well the f n b manager thinks otherwise. I will miss Sam for being my descendent who always tolerate my nonsense and abiding my instructions and finally I will miss all my chef de rangs. Simon for being rather gay and sweet, virginie-being the kindest woman I ever meet in life, Carine for calling me apricot, Romaric- my imaginary father, he calls me my son, christophe- being the funniest among the waiters who claimed that we are his only friends, mr vincent- my manager, who laughs at me for being two hours late due to over napping, jean luke- my '' best friend " at work, Sylvain- his young at heart never fails to bring smiles for me and many many more which i couldnt think of for the moment. Good bye to La Reserve and good bye to my last night and last post on my blog from switzerland and good bye to Geneva, a place which I dont intend to stay any longer haha. Now I am feeling sliughtly better. Like a friend once told me, internship life is a cup of coffee, rather I would say is more like a cup of expresso,I prefer expresso. Shortly and strongly brewed which bring a little bit of bitterness. It is time for me to enjoy the cup of expresso that I had made for myself. Likewise, it is always the perfect moment to be away from reality, moving against the direction of the train, looking at the outside scenery, light-heartedly thinking about what I should do as an art- the art of life.

happy belated bdae!!!

benny, I do hope that you are reading my blog. I juz came back from work and I realised that your Bdae has juz passed bout half an hour agao swiss time. Well, hope u will enjoy the outing with janvin and shengde. By the way, long time I have not heard from you, so hope that you are still doing your best in army while I m struggling hard to complete my internship. Sorry, no gift this year haha. hey, will I receive any belated bdae present from you?? anyway I dun remember you sending me any bdae msg?! do you?? haha well, is your bdae, I hope you will have never ending happiness, juz lik our friendship haha=) cya soon, miss you! haizzzz... I think You might not get as many present as last year haha since I m not around=P

third october

well I have not been updating my blog for more than a month. Whatever the reasons are. hm... I have 2 months more to complete my internship at la reserve, well I cannot imagine myself udertaking all the stupid tasks. stupid as it seems maybe I have learned more than becoming more stupid. In workplace I meet two very good friends who are also struggling like me to finish our internship in a 5 star honourable hotel in geneva. 5 star with a 1 star service as what we would always argue. But the fact is the name La reserve still regarded as one of the best leading hotels of the world and being member of design hotels added its attractiveness. The management system adopted by this hotel doubts me right from the start but as time passed, I realised that the few managers have actually done their best to uphold the hotel reputation as one of the best hotels in geneve. Studying hotel management is easy but to run a hotel itself is crazy. Managing and leading people is still the most difficult task to achieve. Right now, I am in deep thought of how successful one can be as a good motivator. Reducing inconsistency in a hotel environment is probably the best goal that hotels should aim for, be it a small or large chain. oh I miss going back to school attending hospitality classes.

updating!

yesterday night i was back in montana with lj. I was so afraid tat I couldnt slp well and would not hav enough rest. In fact, yes.... I went to bed at around 2 plus yet finding myself awake still at bout 6. wad the hell.......I was thinking, probably I slept more than 12 hours the night before. I m back in geneva again....and have to go back to work tml. huh...how shitty life can be. Each morning I hav to dread myself out of my bed.....and drag my feet to work. Physically and emotionally tiring. There is not much sense of satisfaction only until the night when i told myslelf that another day has passed. Life of a runner is indeed a struggle....a struggle that i promise not to repeat it again. I have to be strong and tell myself that there is only 3 more months to go....3 more months!!!!! hope I would survive through the end. The job bores me day to day. Talking to best friends online is still the sweetest moment I treasured. I hate to get sick so please let me be healthy=(

time goes by

benny!!! I miss you man! haha really looking forward to seeing you and shop with you again. You are still the BEST=) jia you! I will be there for you anytime, not physically though hahaha.

oui chef!!!

I would like to say that the worst part of my life adapting to shit has passed. yay! and I think no matter how little the internship may have taught me professionally, at least I did learnt something valuable in life. Working is indeed a struggle, cest la vie.... I do remind myself that I work for myself and not supporting others...how about those who have to feed their family. a fucking routine that I detested so much at start...now I take it rather lightly cause there is indeed something worth looking forward too. Thanx to evelyn and others who have shown so much care the past few weeks...it was probably one of the worst experience, only till now, I feel to have the courage to call home and inform my parents bout my condition. Imiss my family and friends.

complicated

I told myself i can, yet I cant. I received a very sweet msg from amy, she told me that she is at the airport and reminded me that I can always talk to her whenever I need love. I really miss bluche now...so desperately...working is tired and full of shit. damnnn...juz because for the CV or I think I would really like to quit. One step by a step, there is always two side to a story. I dont really know how to express how I feel right now, I only wish to be numb and try to be positive at all times.REally stressful, but who is there to help. My life belongs to myself and friendship is juz like the icing on a cake. I miss someone so badly.........=( hope she is fine and enjoying herself.

melody wasnt in the photo, but she was there by the school pool, or maybe she was the one taking the photo haha. Saturday duty was really enjoyable...the food was so good...and the chef is our food knowledge teacher Mr. Bider. I think I would like to say that I really respect him alot. His cooking is so fantastic, and everyone agreed that we have the nicest meal ever at market place. Moreover, I think he is really passionate about his cooking, cause he will go around asking students how is the meal, etc. Despite, today i was scolded by him for taking my dessert with my main course on the same tray. Well, at least I have alot of fun in the pool. The damn water was so colddd......I went back to change so that i would have my service uniform to wear for the dinner duty. People at the pool! you all rox=) I think I will never ever learn how to swim.
hahaha

I really don't know how I feel right now. The day has been bad due to insomia last night. I was so bloody hell tired, plus the cleaning of chairs and tables in market place. Because of me, maru and ros are not on good terms. I see the need to feel guilty yet helpless at the same time. Having test again tomorrow, got to study...but I am so lazy right now. I think i prefer stoning and listening to music. Tomorrow will be a better day! will it?

market place

I was so tired recently that I was late for food knowledge class this morning. I was rushing like hell and even brought my toothbrush and toothpaste to school. Tomorrow will be the food knowledge test...wasnt really prepared, hope everything will be fine. After tomorrow maybe I will be more relaxed and yes, can sleep slightly more. Have been staying in media centre these few days. I just dun feel like goin back to my room. Yesterday a la carte dinner with seho, jeff and hazel was quite pleasant. Oh ya nancy and melody were there too. Today market place was great, especially our team...we got 99 for table set up haha. The teacher was happily surprised, that was what he said. I wanted to start an art work themed house by the sea...but it seems a little too late now....still I wished I could complete the art work at least before year end. I really dun want to put art aside cause i know my years of studyin art will be wasted.

friendship a curse

Another worst day and a day not too good to remember. Fucking goodbye to this friend i knew for 5 months or so. Specifically is my roommate. Being too nice to a person is also a mistake. I really dun know wad should i do. In fact, I really do not need to do anything anymore. I m juz tired, tired from the complicated realations between ppl. Familiarity indeed breeds comtempt. I hate to say that I wouldnt want to be close to anyone again. Maybe is time for me to hackcare or even not to care. Fuck it...life sux but its life. It is definitely hard to erase anyone from our memory, but well it is not really my 1st time. I bet i really need to be more careful in future.

search you bloody conscience

I would really like to vent my anger on a particular person. Shouldnt hav pitied him in the first place. let his fucking problem troubles him. If he doesnt seek for forgiveness so be it. I dun wish to know him in the 1st place and fucking I know that I hav to face him everyday. In this kind of shitty condition he better beware. Cause he isnt the only one with temper and I dun wish to be friend or even share a room with someone full of crap and nonsense. Ungrateful ass, I would really wanna say that I hate you more than anyone else and it is time for me to take back my sympathy and do continue with ur fucking hell life. Who cares? at least i dun anymore.

only if u could

Accept finite disappointment but never lose infinite hope. I was indeed grateful to someone who could actually read how i felt. Even me myself wasnt aware that how bad the day was for me. hm...tired again, probably because of working in the market place. Well i believe that i m strong hah, despite the fact that i always put myself in a deep shit. There is no point seeking for goodness, if life meant it to be that way. Maybe is time to let go, live and forget.

your presence might mean nothin to you, but it means alot to others, especially me!

huhh.........

I hate the weather! It seems I will be falling sick anytime.I have been so temperamental recently, especially to someone. Yes, probably that person should stay away from me. My life keep turning as if it cant find the right momentum. things do change for the better. here, I only have a wish- may everyone around me stay happy and cheerful. Time to go to slp i guess. gd nite=)

I am just lazy these days to move anywhere except for my room. Working in market place was rather pleasant. At least there is something to keep me busy with. Even staying in the room the most enjoyable moment would probably be sleeping. I want and choose to be alone. Hope things will go on fine for the next 3 or 4 weeks.

it has been close to a week since we never talk. So screwed and pissed at the same time. I hate to experience such situation. Tense, hell and shit. I just hope that all this crap will end quite soon. Though, a strong doubt that it will happen. There goes our friendship......saddened, but there is nothing much i can do. Tired!

S6, my class in les roches. we booked 6 tableS at our school a la carte restaurant. The dinner was accompanied by photo taking sessions haha, that was weeks ago. Well, actually I think I am blessed with my classmates wasnt like the bastards and bitches that I met. yeahh so, i would like to say that I enjoy being in S6 and I will definitely miss the fun company of my classmates. 9 more weeks to go and I will be working.

In red ferrari suit

mid term break has just passed. It has been a week, a week of very free time and slacking. My visits to geneva were indeed pleasant. I got to know new friend, he resembles one of my friends. what on earth...from sinapore to geneva?! yes...people are weird... we believe to be unique but I see category. At last, I do not need to worry about looking for internships and lodging. Another 8 weeks I will be out of bluche. I love Geneva for its nice scenery and bustling activities. unlike bluche...a small village that has no life...maybe not. Staying here for 3 months can be a great achievement..yeahh to me at least haha. I like crowds...crowds among people, so I guess that is why i prefer big cities. Another great achievement, yesterday i spent like almost a day writing a research paper on singapore Integrated Resorts. huuuhhh... thank god everything is over. A painstaking experience for me to write 3500 words paper. Well, I completed it. My classmate mistaken me as Singaporean at times. Maybe because of the way I speak and also...yes, I projects to be very pro-Sing. Given the chance I would prefer to do any projects related to Singapore.....Raffles hotel for hospitality is taken away by other group. So my group is pleased to do the Peninsula from hongkong...Asian..there is something very extraordinary about us. My experience overseas say so.

mardi, au printemps

I was listening to music, learning some french and chatting with friends. yes, I enjoy multitasking. I received a call from La Reserve for an interview this saturday at 3 pm. Still wondering if they would speak to me in french. Then maybe i would just respond: je ne sais pas. haha.... I really enjoy my french lesson so far. Though basic but I feel that I have learnt alot. Thursday I will be having my second french test. I think mr 100 percent would not be doin as well, he is rather stressed!! Darn, bar and beverage test on friday. Frankly I dun think I would be able to get the same grade as before, unless I m really lucky. Nevertheless, I would try my best. J'aime mes amis!...I miss my friends in Singapore. Wondering wad each of them is doing now. Especially benny...I dun know if he survives in camp. Samuel started a blog, so at least i can keep track of him. And many others.......where have they gone.

snowman, snowman, snowman.....why do ppl make snowman....I am wondering if the winter season makes ppl feel lonelier than ever. I hate snow.....so I m really looking forward to spring. spring is here but there is still some snow since we are up the hill.

The photos were taken in the 1st few weeks I arrived in bluche....the snowman on the right is wearing my scarf that went missing in san nick's bar=( gishh...mid term break is coming. I have no plan of goin anywhere but to stay in my room. Tests and report is coming up....I m rather stressed!!

I like to 'stone' for some reasons. I dun feel like talking to anyone cause I decided that no one would ever understand how i feel. weird....maybe myself is a facade, I come here to understand people but often it leads to more misunderstanding. so how tired it can be. life has to go on...so I bet I would continue ...............

''memory is the traces of tears"

darnnnn...I m so home-sick. keep havin weird dreams in the middle of the nites. i watched 2046 today. rented from my skul library. it was a rather long movie...good artistic shots and actor but i dun really know the story. so disappointing. today was kind of the worst day i ever had. 65 for introduction to hospitality. i cant believe that fucking result came from me. shittt....i never knew for essays we had to underline the keywords...though it was part of the instructions. wad the hell. i wrote more points and more than anyone else but didnt score as well. that freak me out seriously. fuck fuck fuck. i begin to wonder if the teacher is having strong prejudice against other nationalities especially asians when come to writing. if that so...den fuck him off...he should get fired. seriously i dun exactly keen in much of his senseless teachings that has totally no sense of focus and direction. wadeva it is, lets see the second test. if it happens again i tink i might rather switch school...to a better one that deserves my stay and effort. actually i have been considering. les roches may have perfect environment for practicals but i have been thinking of tranfering out for my BA degree to EHL if possible. another sickening incident happened...i was told by the cdip that advised me to forget about working in a 5 star hotel. juz because of my basic french that dun get me anywher. sickkosssss i hate low grades! and i need better opportunities!

particularly i lik grey....grey the colour of nj and also les roches. in fact les roches do have red in its logo. today was another test day after 3 weeks. the written test was rather easy i thought. aiming to score hundred again but i found out that i had one question wrong. the practical was scary...i was darn nervous initially. Signigalia was watching us so closely, that i have to be really on guard. i respect mr signigalia alot as a teacher. he appears so pervertic and scary at first but after i realised that he can be the best teacher so far. we learnt alot about service and he provided us alot of interesting story bout his childhood. i was rather disappointed after the table set up....i couldnt ans most of his wine questions, only familiar in the menu section. almost every question he asked i was stunned, with no clue wad the hell he was asking. wine list is rather sick...mostly in french and italian. i lik service but i m much looking forward to my academics week. cheers on... i love bluche but i cant wait to have my management training in spore.

vingt-quatre

hey, i miss singapore!!! my A level results was out yesterday. i was talking to many ppl online. i was glad that many of my frens did well. cheers for benny he got a distinction for geo S paper. i am very satisfied with my results haha, and the greatest satisfaction comes when i can share it with my friends and family. yeahhh mr lee is proud of me of course hahaha. yeahh, econs did not disappoint me....art too. i ended my studies in art with a distinction, all thanx to mr lee and mr chia for his never ending support. huhhhhh...really misses everyone in singapore, i wish i could juz fly back to share the moment of joy and anxiousness everyone felt before collecting the result. i did not feel the same excitement that i had previously while collecting my O level results. perhaps, i had learned that excellent results do please me, but the process of achieving it is much more valuable than i thought previously.

merci beaucoup

today i was with the school trip to lausanne. i had the company of jia, LJ and ?! (shit i forgot tat girl name). The trip to OLympic museum wasnt as fun as i thought. The only pleasure to watch is its building and the structures around it. sports neve seem to interest me at all, but i will be going for my usual badminton game tml. shopping in Lausanne can be quite tiring...hills and slopes everywher in switzerland....goshh, i could hardly imagine if i would ever learn to drive here. after viewing so many shops, i tink i luv the shoes in Zara most,i promise myself to get one after i got my internship. i bought 3 scarves today at a very cheap price haha.....with cool design i suppose. and 2 belts, which i realised that i might hav been cheated. A la carte pract is over for me.....i was at st nicks again yesterday...ros was sweet enough to order a non alcoholic drink for me. it is the most enjoyable nite i ever had there. i met most of my classmates there. my german friend tinks that asians are crazy bec we are so high that we got on to the chair and dance. today dinner at the chinese restaurant was fantastic......simply yummy! free flow of drinks and rice for us=)
sometimes i wonder, i seem to be one of the luckiest person on earth...but i seem to be asking for more, things that attract me lose its appeal rather quickly, being here with a group of lovable friends and classmates wad could i ask for more...........!!!!

lunar

Yay tests are over and practical is coming up, but report and project is piling. I really need to buck up haha....and so something bout my report. and my cover letter if i m to apply for a prestigious hotel to work in. is chinese new year eve, i reject my friend's offer to join the chinese celebration in school, instead, me, ros and maruto went down to Sierre to eat our reunion dinner at the thai restaurant. den we went to explore the place and found Mc donalds! to hav sips of coke. Edward called me, if we could go down to lausanne to meet up...arghhhh but i m freaking broke now...with less than 200 swiss franc. still waiting for my dad to send me money. the celebration hasnt end...we are goin to party at st nicks tonite haha...this is the first time i would spend cny away from my family, in a foreign land....an unusual experience.

I snow

It was snowing rather heavily, i had to run back to my room to get my coat and wear my snowboots instead. I was late this morning! comtemplating if i should go for the tutorial....damn paiseh...I was the only person out of the 3 classes at the auditorium. Though I was like only 5 minutes late. It was cultural awareness.....it is a voluntary presentation by various students. At that moment of time, i was thinking that i should present something so as to show my presence in class. It was an eager attempt, I dont want to get hours deducted. Indonesian culture...haha I know nuts bout it...and I didnt prepare anything. fortunately I was smart enough hahaha... I present bout Chinese new year. sounds so stupid....but I thought It will be perfect for those angmos...yeahh It really worked well. I felt the interest from the audience.....so it was rather a worth try. nahhh...I think I learnt not to be afraid of crowds. Burning with Confidence!!!=0

I really hope to manage my time well and go for breakfast every morning.....and start studying! having 3 tests this week : bar and beverage, french and hospitality. haha wish me do well=)

I think I m homesick subconsciously...I cant really sleep well these few nites.

mon nom est apri

french lesson tomorrow, 2 period!!!!i have to revise what i learned on thursday. I only knew how to count from one to ten in french ahha. Today i spent my lunch at market place with two new ppl. One is korean and the other is taiwanese. They are my classmates but we havent gotten the chance to mingle with one another. ohh..tat gal know all the vulgarities in korean....she is superb, she told me she even know the iraq version, ahha. I have apple pie for dessert and some fruit salads, yum yum. The dessert in school is fantastic! i luv the tiramisu most. today, my roommate and i got chase out from the a la carte restaurant for the second time....arhhh the italian teacher, he chased out those who arrived there earlier, i dun really mind though, i prefer the free flow food at market place. Let me tell u, at a la carte we hav to be served in lik 1 hour to 2....for ppl lik me who often skips breakfast, u will starve bef u get the food. I m rather excited to hav my practical there, but wad i heard is that it will be quite stressful.2 more weeks to go...i will be wearing my service uniform, not the usual suit anymore. the dateline for my report and tests is coming up!! i think i really need to do some serious work, i m aiming for the best! dun really wanna lose to angmo haha, almost forgotten that i paid alot here. thanx to gloria.

i can't post any comment anymore...my friend was complaining that i left without informing her haha.. sorry tania..here my add
Ecole Les Roches
p/o box 5205
Bluche
3975 Randogne....do write to me ahha=), shit! i haven start writing any postcard yet.

bluche

hey i m in bluche now,a village rather far away from geneva.it is snowing juz a few days ago,the weather is exceptionally cold...huh,i m still having flu and slight cough.a few days ago my friends and i built snowmen haha...and we took photo with them, it was huge! we spent lik one hour plus, competing for the best snowman.i really luv to be part of the school. in les roches, everyone is friendly and easy going.it was pretty easy to find friends here.ppl from every part of the world came to les roches and we get along pretty well. i was fortunate to know two person from spore,it was at the airport.we become pretty close and Ros became my roommate eventually.For LJ, she must be quite frustrated at times,we lik to make fun of her name.today was the first lesson after one week of induction.i didn't sleep well last nite.3 cans of redbul and vodkca at st nicks...huh...i promise myself not to drink that much anymore.in the 1st week,is lik party week.every student here went to clubbing and some pubbing juz near our school compound.tml will be my first french lesson...really looking forward to it=) here, i really try my best to lose my singlish accent...it was bad,or no one will understand me haha...so funny.i look forward to my first internship, hopefully it will be in geneva at some high class restaurants or hotels,the i get to earn alot haha.everything is fine here...i really really would lik to thank my friends who were at the airport.thank you!! i will promise to see you all again haha...muachhhh:*

arghhh!!

wad the hell!! even my blog instruction turned french. i don't understand a single of it. shittttt, it took me awhile to learn how to post my blog.darn! the only return i hav is the coloured font. hm blogging seems to be the only conmmunication tool for me right now. everyone is asleep when i m online, so mav was saying i should continue to blog, to tell others bout my life. alright, bout the lessons i attended so far...mostly are pretty interesting but some suck to the core. effective writing class is not as effective as i thought...so sleepy zZz the rest lik bar and beverage, room division are ok i thought. i luv french lesson the most...we always learn something new and the teacher is engaging most of the time. computer application is another boring class, ohh i hav to bring my laptop to school for that lesson. i was struggling to wake up these few days. my roommate sleep early most of the time and he still skips breakfast. huh...for me i will always rush for breakfast afraid of being late. we hav points deducted for being late or we will juz missed the lesson and have our hours deducted. max of 60 hours, the school would send us to geneva airport...so strict, ohh pity me. there are more rules and regulations in the school, our appearance and bla bla bla. the standard of excellence-is what they enjoy repeating.