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a routine that i would not like to follow. I want something new to spice up my life. Nothing is worth looking forward to. I want so much to go back to indo asap, i know i would not be happy again if i m to return from indo. I miss the living in bintan and the presence of my family.

i cant sleep again.i will miss ''sunday voice''. i have been constantly telling myself not to think too much. i need a break! a long break pls!=(

tired

i m still wondering if i m living a fruitful life. circumstances make me feel and think that are otherwise. shit!wad happen to me.i m so deeply infected. infection...i dun even know wad cause things to turn out tat way. i want so much to be an artist, expressing thoughts through my artworks that seem to have mean something. no one understand art as it is. the act of living itself is juz lik a work of art. decison made changes, trying out of alternatives, puttin it in a suitable space for viewers to see, doing things that is beyond the understanding of others. making an artwork to me can be tiring...so many things to consider....likewise, having to live and making so many decisions of my own. an artwork is similar to a person....artists may know how to interprete an artwork,but they themselves might not even know what the work really means. even the artist producing the work. i come to realisation that i dun even not know myself well enough.
argghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

is vesak day!! i enjoy holidae.i can slp late haha.looking forward to A01 outing tml.

i miss A01 so much...still reminiscing bout the time we had spent during the 1st 3 months in nj. it was short yet so intense. i have never met such a wonderful classmates in my whole life. for the 1st time i feel the warmth of having friends around and not being that anti-social as i might seem to be in the past.
i dun feel that sad leavin the class, i knew such changes are inevitable in life. After all, memories of them will stay with me for the rest of my life. i welcome changes and treasure my past. the time i spent with others is a gift, an invaluable gift.

ke ke blue!

i begin to luv chao ke and his songs...he rox=)

i dreamt. sad, i thought. I feel so helpless....helpless as the friend of others, helpless of being myself.
stagnant....i need to work.