i m in deep shit again

tml is chn AO...hopefully i can study.hav been slpin and online almost whole afternoon. i irritate ppl again. till now i dun even now if i m at fault. i hate, i hate. wadeva i do is always so sickenin to others=(

me in the future

i doubt myself havin a career as an art teacher....being an artist is not appreciated by many.i appreciate them but after a while they will be forgotten. i cannot imagine myself preparin those srudents in becomin artists or any career related to art. it seems miserable to become a good one. life is tough or them too, not as easy as i thought. i pity art students. given a choice i would rather do somethin not as stressful...art can be stressful at times. i dun noe y. but i hav spend years takin art as a subject...i find it hard to let go. best i dun become anythin.....i hate to make decision. it affects me greatly...time is precious. i realised that everything around me is precious too...i can't imagine myself dyin, leavin behind ppl,memories and the earth. death can be scary....we dun even noe wher we are headin, all alone we walk with regrets...at least in life we are given the chance to make the slight decision of ours.


my korean drama startin.....i enjoy watchin dramas...they do reflect similiarity of wad is real in life, thus often they are capable of evokin thoughts in me...many3 thoughts. watchin is great....but not involvin. being a watcher is gd...but neve one can fully understand the situation. life consists of many barriers...some to me is always there. juz lik relationship...family,friendship.....all consist of barriers. no matter how much we tried to break it . however tryin is gd...at least u know the barriers and their existance or u hav seen them.

the great escape

i was almost late todae.i thought it is goin to be bad.i think too much again.upon receivin my promo report card...i was happy indeed.i got an A for art=).... a grade which i thought i would hav deserve it.i was unhappy all the while...great disappointment... the release of early result was a B,it was not what i wanted.Sam, Yk and I went to apply for S paper.it was hilarious.our result wasn't that good.who cares....we try our best at least.i dun expect much for the outcome.havin to take econs S paper can be a burden too....of course it will be a great achievement if we are admitted.wishin all of us all the best=)

every seconds,minutes,hours.it gets better.i gets better too.it seems to be one of the happiest day in my life.watchin movie.the smile seems sincere.still i dun hope for much.i tell myself....not to expect anythin more than an ans.it was not an ans.phy spa over.i wanted to ask again.i dun mind any ans.but it was definitely more than an ans.an ans that make me think.but i refused.refused to spoil my dae.i feel bad i suppose.but not as bad as usual.i dun pin on all my hope on anyone but to save up for myself.savin up is gd,den to giv all out.i dun tink much.and i dun guess wad others think.i m afraid to get it wrong.i hav been wrong all the while.i kept sam company...he too kept me company.


hopefully it will neve happen again.i neve wish for anything but a life of truth.truth is wad i wanna know.nothin more than tat.Sincerity reflects how a person is in our eyes.

haiz....

havin phy spa tml...and i m not learnin at all.i feel lonely...so i need someone to tok to.i m addicted to msn die!!i slped almost whole afternoon.i tink slpin is best for me.i dun feel myself wastin time.i dun feel much either wen i slp.but i can't slp for too long.life still goes on...

friendship

he was a friend

cherished, loved was he

friendship, a tree blossoming

while fragrant flowers permeate the night air

he was once a friend

cherished, loved he was once

while flowers fall, littering the ground

the fragrance lingers, through the night

behold! the dawn

the branches, bared for all to see

they rot,the withering wind blows

was and was only

not anymore

by samuel liu=)

ahh....

relieved........nothin serious=) i lik bein at home....neve i got this feelin bef.restin....

a heart transplant will be useful

i dun worry about myself.....but only my family and friends around me.my parents seem worried...i could tell.i become stronger as a person....but still i m as sensitive to how others feel.i juz can't let go and to care bout myself more.....chn AO comin.....dun tink i will be doin well.haiz.
i m glad whenever i tink that they r people who regard me as best friends.really appreciate them.to me...my best friends will remain for life.even a second of best...i tink i m stupid, but can't help it.

broken

the journey home was long and tirin....it got back on me.the feelin of bein tortured.i m helpless i thought.at that moment i really hope that i exist alone.i would want to leave apri and not be him.apri hates himself.i feel that i m lost....who am i?wad i hav become...i believe i did try my best to see things as positively as possible.i treasure thinga around me.but i got tired...only for days.to think bout it i m stupid.i appear to be happy wen i m not.deceivin my true self.how pathetic.there r others who do treasure my presence i believe.....but i juz cannot giv myself to that group of ppl.but to cling on to those that dun seem as friendly any longer.i will wait...wait and wait.but i may appear lik a fool.apri is an ass...i hate him.he juz can't let go...and always as sensitive.he do his best..no one knows but himself.

hm...a feel a great sense of satisfaction

PW can be sucky at times..but the feeling i have is diff todae.journey to sam house is memorable...i wonder haha.hm..the feeling of havin a friend with you is so great than anythin else.regardless of the work ahead, i seemed to find comfort in trustin my friend.


my mum called...i missed her...she always giv in to me durin our conversation..forever understandin..or she afraid of me....i hav bad temper...haha. wadeva it is..i will treasure the ppl around me..the ppl i met in life....without them.i would be different.i feel the urge to go home...for the 1st time this year.

a dinner is a gd time to toast to friendship.tell them how happy you are

todae wasn't a bad day for me.....i realise that i has been becomin more superstitious than before.i read about my horoscope sign and zodiac sign almost everyday in newspaper ,friendster.i begin to trust it.it seem quite true at times.juz lik the title of my blog...i extract it from friendster todae.indeed i feel that i did toast to friendship this afternoon and dinner as well.i was havin outin with my A01 classmates....we hav dinner too haha.though not many ppl attended,i was pleased that we did make some effort to meet after exam.i had longed for this outin...neve will i be as happy as to be with them,they neve brought me sorrows yet much happiness,a toast to all of them.


a toast to deviL.
it was awkward...yet i was glad.i m more than happy to say anything than to expect more.though we weren't as comfortable as bef.the pace seems to got back....step by step...i will wait patiently=)

I m dead

I m dead.I care too much bout myself and friends around me yet neglect my family.I m afraid...the days whereby they don't play an important part of my life.Is that part of growin up?I wish i dun grow.i lurve them definitely...yet i feel that i m gettin further and further away from them.When i was young i always wonder why adults dun seem to care bout their parents....i misunderstood them.Till now, i realise that i m turnin one of them.My heart dun belong to anyone but myself,but i dun seem to be given the right to choose.It comes as fleetin as it can be,with no turning back.With no ability to choose...i m afraid it turned me crazy at times.I hate it.I wish i m the only one that exist then i will live for myself and not to affect others life.Often i realise that how hurtful it can be, the person whom you love often hurt you the most.So i decide to avoid it till i m convinced that love is indeed beautifuL yet not bittersweet.