broken

the journey home was long and tirin....it got back on me.the feelin of bein tortured.i m helpless i thought.at that moment i really hope that i exist alone.i would want to leave apri and not be him.apri hates himself.i feel that i m lost....who am i?wad i hav become...i believe i did try my best to see things as positively as possible.i treasure thinga around me.but i got tired...only for days.to think bout it i m stupid.i appear to be happy wen i m not.deceivin my true self.how pathetic.there r others who do treasure my presence i believe.....but i juz cannot giv myself to that group of ppl.but to cling on to those that dun seem as friendly any longer.i will wait...wait and wait.but i may appear lik a fool.apri is an ass...i hate him.he juz can't let go...and always as sensitive.he do his best..no one knows but himself.