pWover

ha...finally,the last lap.wads wrong with me....i was tired after the presentation...pekcek again.i know u
i understand
i heard
'y so pek cek......
sorry
i affect ur mood again.
in the LT i was tense, afraid..my heart beat faster than ever..really...it took me long before i could talk.
it seems i myself are not sure...i always tink that i m wrong
bad.
but at times izzit my fault??
i hav to ask...but there is no ans.so confusin!!! i juz hope that i dun affect the ppl tat would be affected tat much.i m saddened to see pek cek look...i juz feel the urge to entertain..but it seems hard nowadays.
never will we know that others will feel sad, when we are sad too.-anonymous

pek cek look to a silent bye<3

apri is gettin old....and no one wants.unlik before, now he talks only irritate ppl. hm....i hav been always lik that.sickenin! must be ppl exploitin me. hahahaha....i did not wrote down the wrong names......u all are my best frens=) sushi!sushi! i lurve u all and will miss u all too.......sam is true..i can't survive without him haha.....i m reluctant to go back...yet i will feel happy to be back.i know i will lose alot.time does not permit, there is more i could have done. to CONVINCE!!!

that one, that one

watchin movie is great....the that one, that one sorry lahh treat you nachos next time;) den the cheese will make u fat-.- that one ahh...make me broke lahhh.....should not hav paid back by treatin you todae. i m broke now !!!! haiz.....life without money sux. if i were to be rich haha....i tink i can make a lot of ppl happy though money is not everything. but money can do alot of things to satisfy ppls needs and wants. i want, i want....i m sure we dun need anymore but want more......i dun know i feel warmth seein others smile... i lurve smiles from ppl... do smile more haha lik this =)=)=)=)=)=)=)...i think human are sweet creatures too.....we feel lik others neve feel before. to get angry and to hate sometimes is a way of showin how much importance a person is to you, i suppose.cauz we wun bother much about those that we care less.......and we hate them less too....definitely we love them less hahahaha. i lurves my friends=)) apri will try his best to make u all happy. Actually i hav been...i suppose is not my best. give me time i will try okk haha...acha acha faidi.

A moment in time

band-it was great i think. Many people attended it. I lurves the chocolates and roses=) thanx to all my friends who came for it and those who stays at home to enjoy family's love thanx too for not coming haha=p. Bald rose look nice i suppose.....and dropping petals as well.Their fragrance...hm....hm....i went to supper with my friends at my fav newton food centre haha. I was so tired, i slept at 2 plus to prepare for my op today and need to wake up early to do my i n r too. thanx benny for all his help...hopefully he is not that pissed off with me. though i m=P....bloody hell i n r!!!!! thanx to him too for helping me sell my band tickets. Selling tickets sux lah.....see 1st...dun noe whether got time is the responses i got. Then i knew, ppl are not that interested.But still i go and bug them....neve giv up haha=) definitely it was enjoyable to see an LT full of enthu ppls...scream and scream and scream. I think i enjoyed this concert best. To me i prefer band-it than etude and i think i play better too hahaha=) being able to perform is the greatest satisfaction a band player can get...the feelin of being able to enjoy urself on stage and entertain others. life is lik a performance on stage...i agree. Only if we can entertain others and meke ourself memorable...bein an actors is good either, however we hav to ensure that we are convincing enough.... i think all of us can act well, we just don't realise it. There is definitely a time where we got to really act. So what role should we choose? i wonder.....best actors are capable of acting any role, so does that make us the best in life?

'''''''''''''''

i feel hopeless. i shop and eat alot yesterday. getting fat-.- i enjoy goin out for supper with my housemates. i taught them ss too haha...and they decide to buy band tickets from me=) so kind of them. hm life is full of up and down....sometimes i m still wondering if i m really happy. to think bout it, it seems that it is hard to be as happy as before......but happy for the sake of being happy. going out for not getting bored at home. i hate this. i don't know.... i m rather confused. i would not want to disappoint the ppl around me. i feel weird this time....i miss=(

things change and i seem to change too...i m afraid, afraid of changes....i know i would not be the same.

haha

benny can tell you can tok alot jus lik me haha.

i dun tok alot one lor....depend on whom i tok too haha. sometimes i tink i irritate ppl cause i tok too much and bug them. wah lao...i tink tokin is gd. dun understand y some ppl juz kept quiet and can survive for long. its gd to hear sound from others....especially ur friends=) not this =P listenin makes me happy=)=)

but definitely not gd to be an amplifier=p=p....i should stuck more things to horn hahahahaha to revenge=p=p

...

me
i don't
i won't
there is always a limit
it depends on who
others
i care
i bother
wrong wrong wrong
i don't know
i pitied
pitied myself
i cried
not for myself
yes for me
pathetic life can be
reminiscing the past
memories
all history
never play back
longer longer and longer
i waited
rotten
healed
yet different
i ask
ask
askin for me
avoid avoid and avoid
great solution?
i wonder
if there is any
no solution
but outcome
outcome
that can never be guessed
i m thinkin
longer and longer again
careful this time with my thought
sleepin is best
yes, i slp to dream for better tml
i don't
nightmare instead
i become unconscious
i question my existance
i died?
i live?
no i don't
there are others around me
i m afraid
afraid of all of them
the good bad or worst
they seem the same
i fake
i don't
confused
but to suffer alone
no one
no one
i suspect
you suspect
everyone suspects
suspicion everywhere
who is right
who is wrong
till then it don't matter
as my heart said so
it has its say
but i forced it to say
guilty
no i don't
but to leave me alone
unhurt.
it hurts it hurts
it screams for help
who cares
i do
i do
i do
stay away
get lost
does not help
it remains till it stops beatin
then i hav no say
no say
but others start to say
out there
i look
i see no one
feel no one
alone
i shall cry in despair
my life full of regrets
uncertainties
and confusions
u hear me
no never will
i got nothin to say
words don't express

eat shop buy watch sleep

everything is over.....left idiotic OP...pw sux lah. hm hm....out almost whole dae.i m luvin it haha.life of no skul...no worries...band is great too=) go go go for band-it !!! haha now i am with my best friend and i love him very much. tats wad he say...so thick skin. hm hm...goin shoppin with him make me go broke. he dun even know how to become a smart customer lik me hahahahahaahahahhaha..........that y i can't bargain much haiz. but is he is great too. he is nice and kind and friendly person...helpful...sickenin...his face is goin red. he laugh lik mad!!! i m forced to eat subway. i hate bread lah. wad a nice fren i hav.

i m in deep shit again

tml is chn AO...hopefully i can study.hav been slpin and online almost whole afternoon. i irritate ppl again. till now i dun even now if i m at fault. i hate, i hate. wadeva i do is always so sickenin to others=(

me in the future

i doubt myself havin a career as an art teacher....being an artist is not appreciated by many.i appreciate them but after a while they will be forgotten. i cannot imagine myself preparin those srudents in becomin artists or any career related to art. it seems miserable to become a good one. life is tough or them too, not as easy as i thought. i pity art students. given a choice i would rather do somethin not as stressful...art can be stressful at times. i dun noe y. but i hav spend years takin art as a subject...i find it hard to let go. best i dun become anythin.....i hate to make decision. it affects me greatly...time is precious. i realised that everything around me is precious too...i can't imagine myself dyin, leavin behind ppl,memories and the earth. death can be scary....we dun even noe wher we are headin, all alone we walk with regrets...at least in life we are given the chance to make the slight decision of ours.


my korean drama startin.....i enjoy watchin dramas...they do reflect similiarity of wad is real in life, thus often they are capable of evokin thoughts in me...many3 thoughts. watchin is great....but not involvin. being a watcher is gd...but neve one can fully understand the situation. life consists of many barriers...some to me is always there. juz lik relationship...family,friendship.....all consist of barriers. no matter how much we tried to break it . however tryin is gd...at least u know the barriers and their existance or u hav seen them.

the great escape

i was almost late todae.i thought it is goin to be bad.i think too much again.upon receivin my promo report card...i was happy indeed.i got an A for art=).... a grade which i thought i would hav deserve it.i was unhappy all the while...great disappointment... the release of early result was a B,it was not what i wanted.Sam, Yk and I went to apply for S paper.it was hilarious.our result wasn't that good.who cares....we try our best at least.i dun expect much for the outcome.havin to take econs S paper can be a burden too....of course it will be a great achievement if we are admitted.wishin all of us all the best=)

every seconds,minutes,hours.it gets better.i gets better too.it seems to be one of the happiest day in my life.watchin movie.the smile seems sincere.still i dun hope for much.i tell myself....not to expect anythin more than an ans.it was not an ans.phy spa over.i wanted to ask again.i dun mind any ans.but it was definitely more than an ans.an ans that make me think.but i refused.refused to spoil my dae.i feel bad i suppose.but not as bad as usual.i dun pin on all my hope on anyone but to save up for myself.savin up is gd,den to giv all out.i dun tink much.and i dun guess wad others think.i m afraid to get it wrong.i hav been wrong all the while.i kept sam company...he too kept me company.


hopefully it will neve happen again.i neve wish for anything but a life of truth.truth is wad i wanna know.nothin more than tat.Sincerity reflects how a person is in our eyes.

haiz....

havin phy spa tml...and i m not learnin at all.i feel lonely...so i need someone to tok to.i m addicted to msn die!!i slped almost whole afternoon.i tink slpin is best for me.i dun feel myself wastin time.i dun feel much either wen i slp.but i can't slp for too long.life still goes on...

friendship

he was a friend

cherished, loved was he

friendship, a tree blossoming

while fragrant flowers permeate the night air

he was once a friend

cherished, loved he was once

while flowers fall, littering the ground

the fragrance lingers, through the night

behold! the dawn

the branches, bared for all to see

they rot,the withering wind blows

was and was only

not anymore

by samuel liu=)

ahh....

relieved........nothin serious=) i lik bein at home....neve i got this feelin bef.restin....

a heart transplant will be useful

i dun worry about myself.....but only my family and friends around me.my parents seem worried...i could tell.i become stronger as a person....but still i m as sensitive to how others feel.i juz can't let go and to care bout myself more.....chn AO comin.....dun tink i will be doin well.haiz.
i m glad whenever i tink that they r people who regard me as best friends.really appreciate them.to me...my best friends will remain for life.even a second of best...i tink i m stupid, but can't help it.

broken

the journey home was long and tirin....it got back on me.the feelin of bein tortured.i m helpless i thought.at that moment i really hope that i exist alone.i would want to leave apri and not be him.apri hates himself.i feel that i m lost....who am i?wad i hav become...i believe i did try my best to see things as positively as possible.i treasure thinga around me.but i got tired...only for days.to think bout it i m stupid.i appear to be happy wen i m not.deceivin my true self.how pathetic.there r others who do treasure my presence i believe.....but i juz cannot giv myself to that group of ppl.but to cling on to those that dun seem as friendly any longer.i will wait...wait and wait.but i may appear lik a fool.apri is an ass...i hate him.he juz can't let go...and always as sensitive.he do his best..no one knows but himself.

hm...a feel a great sense of satisfaction

PW can be sucky at times..but the feeling i have is diff todae.journey to sam house is memorable...i wonder haha.hm..the feeling of havin a friend with you is so great than anythin else.regardless of the work ahead, i seemed to find comfort in trustin my friend.


my mum called...i missed her...she always giv in to me durin our conversation..forever understandin..or she afraid of me....i hav bad temper...haha. wadeva it is..i will treasure the ppl around me..the ppl i met in life....without them.i would be different.i feel the urge to go home...for the 1st time this year.

a dinner is a gd time to toast to friendship.tell them how happy you are

todae wasn't a bad day for me.....i realise that i has been becomin more superstitious than before.i read about my horoscope sign and zodiac sign almost everyday in newspaper ,friendster.i begin to trust it.it seem quite true at times.juz lik the title of my blog...i extract it from friendster todae.indeed i feel that i did toast to friendship this afternoon and dinner as well.i was havin outin with my A01 classmates....we hav dinner too haha.though not many ppl attended,i was pleased that we did make some effort to meet after exam.i had longed for this outin...neve will i be as happy as to be with them,they neve brought me sorrows yet much happiness,a toast to all of them.


a toast to deviL.
it was awkward...yet i was glad.i m more than happy to say anything than to expect more.though we weren't as comfortable as bef.the pace seems to got back....step by step...i will wait patiently=)

I m dead

I m dead.I care too much bout myself and friends around me yet neglect my family.I m afraid...the days whereby they don't play an important part of my life.Is that part of growin up?I wish i dun grow.i lurve them definitely...yet i feel that i m gettin further and further away from them.When i was young i always wonder why adults dun seem to care bout their parents....i misunderstood them.Till now, i realise that i m turnin one of them.My heart dun belong to anyone but myself,but i dun seem to be given the right to choose.It comes as fleetin as it can be,with no turning back.With no ability to choose...i m afraid it turned me crazy at times.I hate it.I wish i m the only one that exist then i will live for myself and not to affect others life.Often i realise that how hurtful it can be, the person whom you love often hurt you the most.So i decide to avoid it till i m convinced that love is indeed beautifuL yet not bittersweet.