I m dead

I m dead.I care too much bout myself and friends around me yet neglect my family.I m afraid...the days whereby they don't play an important part of my life.Is that part of growin up?I wish i dun grow.i lurve them definitely...yet i feel that i m gettin further and further away from them.When i was young i always wonder why adults dun seem to care bout their parents....i misunderstood them.Till now, i realise that i m turnin one of them.My heart dun belong to anyone but myself,but i dun seem to be given the right to choose.It comes as fleetin as it can be,with no turning back.With no ability to choose...i m afraid it turned me crazy at times.I hate it.I wish i m the only one that exist then i will live for myself and not to affect others life.Often i realise that how hurtful it can be, the person whom you love often hurt you the most.So i decide to avoid it till i m convinced that love is indeed beautifuL yet not bittersweet.