tired

i m still wondering if i m living a fruitful life. circumstances make me feel and think that are otherwise. shit!wad happen to me.i m so deeply infected. infection...i dun even know wad cause things to turn out tat way. i want so much to be an artist, expressing thoughts through my artworks that seem to have mean something. no one understand art as it is. the act of living itself is juz lik a work of art. decison made changes, trying out of alternatives, puttin it in a suitable space for viewers to see, doing things that is beyond the understanding of others. making an artwork to me can be tiring...so many things to consider....likewise, having to live and making so many decisions of my own. an artwork is similar to a person....artists may know how to interprete an artwork,but they themselves might not even know what the work really means. even the artist producing the work. i come to realisation that i dun even not know myself well enough.
argghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.