leav in

i wonder if i m to die....would anyone remembers my existance...probably they would,only for an instance.everything will be back to normal again.if that is going to happen,i most worried bout my family.i have not done enough for them.till then, i would have realised that how pitiful human beings can be.we come and leave...soon will be forgotten.

...

i m afraid that i mislead others....it just happened.shit...i m screwed.always have mood swings...hating myself and the sorroundings.reflection....i feel sadder as to reflect on myself and my relationship with others.i have no choice....but i juz want to end everything with a beautiful stop...an installation that is aesthically pleasing.

i dreamed a thousand new paths but woke up my old one....

a friend is someone who walks in when the whole world walks out.in a highly competitive and result oriented world,we seem to be drifting away from each other all the time.this is not to say the world is short of amiable individuals,but rather that we have forgotten the ART of maintaining positive camaraderie.in a mad rush to keep up with the fast changing pace of urban living,we FAIL to nurture and care for basic ties of love and warmth that binds us all together.

red dates

new year is comin...i m tired yet excited.i guess i won't be as happy when i m to be back in sgp again.treasuring good times we had is not easy, often, i will take them for granted.now i learned how prcious anything can be....taking art as a subject indeed pose a great challenge for me...self realisation and reflection....those had becomepart of my everyday life.enjoyed talkin to mr lee....human relationship.till now i dun even quite sure wad izzit all about.the journey of life.....the time i spend.....i m still waiting to be taught.

heart

wah lao....damn freaky tired todae.i m slackin again.....got a headache after tokin to yanru online.haiz....i try to blog...but the shitty cconnection obstructs me each time.this is the 1st entry in this year...bad year ahead i think.i m not bein paranoid.in fact i m always optimistic in the past....but life does not seem great as it is.i hate to think bout any consequences.i miss home definitely...my biggestt anticipation is to celebrate the chn new year with my family,only then i will hav my mind settlin down and not to disturb me each time.whenever i think too much into things, i start to get worried...i m stonin and not gettin anything done or i sleep to avoid it.ohh my,......a lvl is comin...still ponders if i m to drop phy.sucks sucks sucks.....i never imagine myself takin this subject.i hate it alot!!!!but i understand that i should not tat things for granted...i learned too much bout how others feel.each time i tell myself that i should be more serious this year...it juz doesn't happen.i neve know how bad i hav become....njc...i thought i can never be happier than to be able to enter the school.now..i hav doubt bout my decision.findin someone to confide wasn't easy.i thanx erick for talkin to me on the phone and not forgettin me.....bennny,janvin,shengde,guan you and khairi too for their friendship.samuel for accompanyin me each time in school and helpin me to cope the torturous school life. and many sweet ppl from band and a01...i m happy to see their smile each time.i m beginnin to feel that i m juz lik the 1st time i came to sgp.i hate the place....i m black each time.i wish that i could juz end my jc life and leave this sickenin place,full of misunderstandin and confusion.rain...i hate the rain....it makes one feel even lonelier.dreams of hope......i cred in my dream...and gettin tense before dreamin.hope...i m juz not aware of wad i m hopin for.