tipsy??

I drunk half a bottle of wine left from the fondue gathering with friends. My head starts hurting for a bit. the second day has passed without her. thinking to write her a letter to say how I have missed her. She once told me that I must write to her every single day, even though she may not be online to talk to me. Hmmm.. I told her, it wasnt fair at all, cause she haven written one yet. Today, I have packed our cupboard and refolded every single clothes of hers and me. Sometimes I thought I can be a perfect househusband, I cook, I clean and I wash the clothes.....Tomorrow will be the shelves and books!

Not once a year

Hmmm, I am back, yeahh back on the net. I have to spend my vacation here, almost alone, but I am happy, happy and more than delighted to be alone. She has left, no doubt I am missing her, but the freedom to be alone is far greater than the "miss". Bad, I suppose, but well I am satisfied with the choice of not goin back. I like my little studio, my decorations, pictures on the wall, my small kitchen - almost well equipped with everything I need, my nespresso machine ( we have decided to purchase it as a Christmas Gift ) now, less craving or more craving for starbucks?? I werent sure. Time to time, I was thinking, on the train back from munich, how fortunate am I, or less?? I wonder, my life now is almost perfect and beautiful, no strive for perfection, no obsession to be rich. I love life for what it is, I pray, I hope but eventually, I knew I would lose it again and restart a new. I have watched the hours, for more than 3 times, seems crazy, apart from my assignment, I enjoyed the movie, "mrs dalloway said she will buy the flowers herself" poignant, sad, touching and well crafted. benny once told me, "apri you must watch the hours, a story about three women in a day" only if I would head his advice, then I would probably be less insane. But I admire Julianne Moore more than anyone else, the dialogue at the train station, is worth noting. Time to read the book I guess, Mrs Puhr told me, perhaps I didnt find the right book. I do take that positively, I appreciate reading in the midst of bizarre schedules and workload but now??? haha I prefer laying on the bed, peeping through the small window.

To my friend, she hasnt accept me since then, well I miss, and think about her quite often. She might think that I dont deserve, I was sentenced for what she thinks I dun deserve. My heart hurts, a little, my head finds the answer, but the good bye wasnt a thoughtful msg after all. Through this small window, you may be misunderstood, or I may be understood. After all only the heart cares and only you know if that is what I deserved.