updating!

yesterday night i was back in montana with lj. I was so afraid tat I couldnt slp well and would not hav enough rest. In fact, yes.... I went to bed at around 2 plus yet finding myself awake still at bout 6. wad the hell.......I was thinking, probably I slept more than 12 hours the night before. I m back in geneva again....and have to go back to work tml. huh...how shitty life can be. Each morning I hav to dread myself out of my bed.....and drag my feet to work. Physically and emotionally tiring. There is not much sense of satisfaction only until the night when i told myslelf that another day has passed. Life of a runner is indeed a struggle....a struggle that i promise not to repeat it again. I have to be strong and tell myself that there is only 3 more months to go....3 more months!!!!! hope I would survive through the end. The job bores me day to day. Talking to best friends online is still the sweetest moment I treasured. I hate to get sick so please let me be healthy=(

time goes by

benny!!! I miss you man! haha really looking forward to seeing you and shop with you again. You are still the BEST=) jia you! I will be there for you anytime, not physically though hahaha.

oui chef!!!

I would like to say that the worst part of my life adapting to shit has passed. yay! and I think no matter how little the internship may have taught me professionally, at least I did learnt something valuable in life. Working is indeed a struggle, cest la vie.... I do remind myself that I work for myself and not supporting others...how about those who have to feed their family. a fucking routine that I detested so much at start...now I take it rather lightly cause there is indeed something worth looking forward too. Thanx to evelyn and others who have shown so much care the past few weeks...it was probably one of the worst experience, only till now, I feel to have the courage to call home and inform my parents bout my condition. Imiss my family and friends.

complicated

I told myself i can, yet I cant. I received a very sweet msg from amy, she told me that she is at the airport and reminded me that I can always talk to her whenever I need love. I really miss bluche now...so desperately...working is tired and full of shit. damnnn...juz because for the CV or I think I would really like to quit. One step by a step, there is always two side to a story. I dont really know how to express how I feel right now, I only wish to be numb and try to be positive at all times.REally stressful, but who is there to help. My life belongs to myself and friendship is juz like the icing on a cake. I miss someone so badly.........=( hope she is fine and enjoying herself.

melody wasnt in the photo, but she was there by the school pool, or maybe she was the one taking the photo haha. Saturday duty was really enjoyable...the food was so good...and the chef is our food knowledge teacher Mr. Bider. I think I would like to say that I really respect him alot. His cooking is so fantastic, and everyone agreed that we have the nicest meal ever at market place. Moreover, I think he is really passionate about his cooking, cause he will go around asking students how is the meal, etc. Despite, today i was scolded by him for taking my dessert with my main course on the same tray. Well, at least I have alot of fun in the pool. The damn water was so colddd......I went back to change so that i would have my service uniform to wear for the dinner duty. People at the pool! you all rox=) I think I will never ever learn how to swim.
hahaha

I really don't know how I feel right now. The day has been bad due to insomia last night. I was so bloody hell tired, plus the cleaning of chairs and tables in market place. Because of me, maru and ros are not on good terms. I see the need to feel guilty yet helpless at the same time. Having test again tomorrow, got to study...but I am so lazy right now. I think i prefer stoning and listening to music. Tomorrow will be a better day! will it?

market place

I was so tired recently that I was late for food knowledge class this morning. I was rushing like hell and even brought my toothbrush and toothpaste to school. Tomorrow will be the food knowledge test...wasnt really prepared, hope everything will be fine. After tomorrow maybe I will be more relaxed and yes, can sleep slightly more. Have been staying in media centre these few days. I just dun feel like goin back to my room. Yesterday a la carte dinner with seho, jeff and hazel was quite pleasant. Oh ya nancy and melody were there too. Today market place was great, especially our team...we got 99 for table set up haha. The teacher was happily surprised, that was what he said. I wanted to start an art work themed house by the sea...but it seems a little too late now....still I wished I could complete the art work at least before year end. I really dun want to put art aside cause i know my years of studyin art will be wasted.

friendship a curse

Another worst day and a day not too good to remember. Fucking goodbye to this friend i knew for 5 months or so. Specifically is my roommate. Being too nice to a person is also a mistake. I really dun know wad should i do. In fact, I really do not need to do anything anymore. I m juz tired, tired from the complicated realations between ppl. Familiarity indeed breeds comtempt. I hate to say that I wouldnt want to be close to anyone again. Maybe is time for me to hackcare or even not to care. Fuck it...life sux but its life. It is definitely hard to erase anyone from our memory, but well it is not really my 1st time. I bet i really need to be more careful in future.

search you bloody conscience

I would really like to vent my anger on a particular person. Shouldnt hav pitied him in the first place. let his fucking problem troubles him. If he doesnt seek for forgiveness so be it. I dun wish to know him in the 1st place and fucking I know that I hav to face him everyday. In this kind of shitty condition he better beware. Cause he isnt the only one with temper and I dun wish to be friend or even share a room with someone full of crap and nonsense. Ungrateful ass, I would really wanna say that I hate you more than anyone else and it is time for me to take back my sympathy and do continue with ur fucking hell life. Who cares? at least i dun anymore.

only if u could

Accept finite disappointment but never lose infinite hope. I was indeed grateful to someone who could actually read how i felt. Even me myself wasnt aware that how bad the day was for me. hm...tired again, probably because of working in the market place. Well i believe that i m strong hah, despite the fact that i always put myself in a deep shit. There is no point seeking for goodness, if life meant it to be that way. Maybe is time to let go, live and forget.

your presence might mean nothin to you, but it means alot to others, especially me!

huhh.........

I hate the weather! It seems I will be falling sick anytime.I have been so temperamental recently, especially to someone. Yes, probably that person should stay away from me. My life keep turning as if it cant find the right momentum. things do change for the better. here, I only have a wish- may everyone around me stay happy and cheerful. Time to go to slp i guess. gd nite=)

I am just lazy these days to move anywhere except for my room. Working in market place was rather pleasant. At least there is something to keep me busy with. Even staying in the room the most enjoyable moment would probably be sleeping. I want and choose to be alone. Hope things will go on fine for the next 3 or 4 weeks.

it has been close to a week since we never talk. So screwed and pissed at the same time. I hate to experience such situation. Tense, hell and shit. I just hope that all this crap will end quite soon. Though, a strong doubt that it will happen. There goes our friendship......saddened, but there is nothing much i can do. Tired!

S6, my class in les roches. we booked 6 tableS at our school a la carte restaurant. The dinner was accompanied by photo taking sessions haha, that was weeks ago. Well, actually I think I am blessed with my classmates wasnt like the bastards and bitches that I met. yeahh so, i would like to say that I enjoy being in S6 and I will definitely miss the fun company of my classmates. 9 more weeks to go and I will be working.

In red ferrari suit

mid term break has just passed. It has been a week, a week of very free time and slacking. My visits to geneva were indeed pleasant. I got to know new friend, he resembles one of my friends. what on earth...from sinapore to geneva?! yes...people are weird... we believe to be unique but I see category. At last, I do not need to worry about looking for internships and lodging. Another 8 weeks I will be out of bluche. I love Geneva for its nice scenery and bustling activities. unlike bluche...a small village that has no life...maybe not. Staying here for 3 months can be a great achievement..yeahh to me at least haha. I like crowds...crowds among people, so I guess that is why i prefer big cities. Another great achievement, yesterday i spent like almost a day writing a research paper on singapore Integrated Resorts. huuuhhh... thank god everything is over. A painstaking experience for me to write 3500 words paper. Well, I completed it. My classmate mistaken me as Singaporean at times. Maybe because of the way I speak and also...yes, I projects to be very pro-Sing. Given the chance I would prefer to do any projects related to Singapore.....Raffles hotel for hospitality is taken away by other group. So my group is pleased to do the Peninsula from hongkong...Asian..there is something very extraordinary about us. My experience overseas say so.

mardi, au printemps

I was listening to music, learning some french and chatting with friends. yes, I enjoy multitasking. I received a call from La Reserve for an interview this saturday at 3 pm. Still wondering if they would speak to me in french. Then maybe i would just respond: je ne sais pas. haha.... I really enjoy my french lesson so far. Though basic but I feel that I have learnt alot. Thursday I will be having my second french test. I think mr 100 percent would not be doin as well, he is rather stressed!! Darn, bar and beverage test on friday. Frankly I dun think I would be able to get the same grade as before, unless I m really lucky. Nevertheless, I would try my best. J'aime mes amis!...I miss my friends in Singapore. Wondering wad each of them is doing now. Especially benny...I dun know if he survives in camp. Samuel started a blog, so at least i can keep track of him. And many others.......where have they gone.

snowman, snowman, snowman.....why do ppl make snowman....I am wondering if the winter season makes ppl feel lonelier than ever. I hate snow.....so I m really looking forward to spring. spring is here but there is still some snow since we are up the hill.

The photos were taken in the 1st few weeks I arrived in bluche....the snowman on the right is wearing my scarf that went missing in san nick's bar=( gishh...mid term break is coming. I have no plan of goin anywhere but to stay in my room. Tests and report is coming up....I m rather stressed!!

I like to 'stone' for some reasons. I dun feel like talking to anyone cause I decided that no one would ever understand how i feel. weird....maybe myself is a facade, I come here to understand people but often it leads to more misunderstanding. so how tired it can be. life has to go on...so I bet I would continue ...............

''memory is the traces of tears"

darnnnn...I m so home-sick. keep havin weird dreams in the middle of the nites. i watched 2046 today. rented from my skul library. it was a rather long movie...good artistic shots and actor but i dun really know the story. so disappointing. today was kind of the worst day i ever had. 65 for introduction to hospitality. i cant believe that fucking result came from me. shittt....i never knew for essays we had to underline the keywords...though it was part of the instructions. wad the hell. i wrote more points and more than anyone else but didnt score as well. that freak me out seriously. fuck fuck fuck. i begin to wonder if the teacher is having strong prejudice against other nationalities especially asians when come to writing. if that so...den fuck him off...he should get fired. seriously i dun exactly keen in much of his senseless teachings that has totally no sense of focus and direction. wadeva it is, lets see the second test. if it happens again i tink i might rather switch school...to a better one that deserves my stay and effort. actually i have been considering. les roches may have perfect environment for practicals but i have been thinking of tranfering out for my BA degree to EHL if possible. another sickening incident happened...i was told by the cdip that advised me to forget about working in a 5 star hotel. juz because of my basic french that dun get me anywher. sickkosssss i hate low grades! and i need better opportunities!

particularly i lik grey....grey the colour of nj and also les roches. in fact les roches do have red in its logo. today was another test day after 3 weeks. the written test was rather easy i thought. aiming to score hundred again but i found out that i had one question wrong. the practical was scary...i was darn nervous initially. Signigalia was watching us so closely, that i have to be really on guard. i respect mr signigalia alot as a teacher. he appears so pervertic and scary at first but after i realised that he can be the best teacher so far. we learnt alot about service and he provided us alot of interesting story bout his childhood. i was rather disappointed after the table set up....i couldnt ans most of his wine questions, only familiar in the menu section. almost every question he asked i was stunned, with no clue wad the hell he was asking. wine list is rather sick...mostly in french and italian. i lik service but i m much looking forward to my academics week. cheers on... i love bluche but i cant wait to have my management training in spore.

vingt-quatre

hey, i miss singapore!!! my A level results was out yesterday. i was talking to many ppl online. i was glad that many of my frens did well. cheers for benny he got a distinction for geo S paper. i am very satisfied with my results haha, and the greatest satisfaction comes when i can share it with my friends and family. yeahhh mr lee is proud of me of course hahaha. yeahh, econs did not disappoint me....art too. i ended my studies in art with a distinction, all thanx to mr lee and mr chia for his never ending support. huhhhhh...really misses everyone in singapore, i wish i could juz fly back to share the moment of joy and anxiousness everyone felt before collecting the result. i did not feel the same excitement that i had previously while collecting my O level results. perhaps, i had learned that excellent results do please me, but the process of achieving it is much more valuable than i thought previously.