droplet of traces

SHENG i luv you haha!!!
i went to sheng de houz to take a disc that he burned for me tat is to be installed on my recently bought laptop.how ar...i dun really know how to make gd use of the comp.ar..is lik wastin money.medical check up again tml...and i m sleepin so late=_=!! 3 or 4years in switzerland, i m goin to misss alot of ppl, especially ppl lik sheng.though we dun really meet up quite frequently, he seems to be always very dependable haha,so loyal man.luv him so much ahhaa.thanx for his company despite the rainy weather.i really appreciate the big and little things tat he hav done for me,his sincerity and evrything bout him...ahhh shengde thanx alot really thank you!!!...ur old classmate cum lovin fren=))

home-sick

i want to get back to indo fast.arghhh...i woke up late todae even though i made an appointment to visit the doctor at 10.teo clinic for children, my last visit there was lik 7 years ago.haha...the doctor actually gave me 3 vaccines,which i dun know wad are they.he was cranky and old enough to grumble bout me rushin him to fill up my form for the medical check up.darn...he lectured me for bein lik a baby...ohhhh...i wish i am he probably neve realise that i m others' baby haha.i lik babies , they are juz as cute and not as innocent as me haha.wahh lao,indeed i tried to rush him, but still he needs me to go back again on wed.there goes my extra 3 days in bintan.huh, i tink adults are funny creatures.i dun see myself as adult.and i dun exactly know who are adults.i was queeuin up for taxi..unfortunately i queeued on the wrong line which was the longest initially, until the guard insisted that we need to requeue...ahhhh...i thought i was smart.this is not the only stupid things that i did.a few days ago...i took the wrong mrt line for the 1st time in my life..sosososo STUPID! hiu fung would be happy to hear tat=Pahh..i m so stressed again..and so sleppy dun know why.watchin korean drama made me cry..my cute little baby inside may die anytime huhhhh.i aso watched another drama this sat..wahh i lik the gal alottttt,she is so crazily pretty haha and of course there is aso my fav actor,one cute hunk haha.i admire metrosexuals...their dress sense and attitude..wahhh...korean guys can dress pretty well unlik spore star who might not even change their clothes frequently when they are actin.hm....i m wanderin as if time doesnt flyand there is no direction...i m givin myself amonth time to look for my compass.yes haha faidi!!! live life to the fullest?a half-filed drink seem to serve better.

dreams of hope

i m not feelin really well today...i tink is due to the lack of slp. clubbin at zouk was again an 'eye openin' experience. but the drinks were so ex....a tiny cup of dun know wad cost lik 10 plus......headache. i wanna slp!
i wanna get high! AGAIN.

we are different

i m juz so pissed with my father for quite some time. haiz...it turn out more to be a disappointment than anger. he simply does not know me well. always, lik wad most elderly would tink...we youngsters do things in a sloppy way. i m not! i know him too well, far beyond his understanding of me. i learnt tat silent works best, there is no point argueing when both of us is stubborn in our own way. indeed, he did feel a little apologetic, gd for me. i bear no grudges...but simply hope to get away from tat akward situation. it juz dun feel rite i guess. family, are they simply another beings tat happen to bump closer to us...or there are exceptional spritual thingin tat bind us as one. i believe in inheritance...the way of life, our behaviours...i started to see myself behavin lik either my mum or dad. however, i will definitely reflect upon my own behaviour tat seems equivalent to theirs. parents are always rite? i dun tink so. when you are young, our innocent minds form tat illusion, as we grow up the perfection we hold for them slowly tear away...it hurts but it is better than to lead a deluding life.but, still no matter wad...my parents are great=ME hee

dreams of hope

my agent phoned me that my acceptance letter to les roches has came.hm...tml i m goin to see what it looks like.haiz...i hav been stayin at home for past 2 days..i m so broke to go anywhere.hav to take money again=(luckily there is korean drama to keep me away from my sianness hahaha.i m watchin wonderful life...not pretty new though, my sis told me tat it was nice to watch.hm...i was quite satisfied these 2 days at home...i hav been exercisin hehe.of course joggin was so tirin...i wanna faint...maybe i need to jog more.my arm was kind of injured these few days...but not today,ha...i woke up feeling good tat i dun hav to stuggle to try to pull up the dumbell.hm...hope my exercise routine will last long...always i will juz stop it as and when i lik...bad bad bad.huh....3 more days to go to meet my parents, they are coming to assist me in the application...thanx godness or i bet i may juz stay in spore for good.

GLORIA and SAMUEL bdae is tomorrow!!! HAPPY BDAE TO TWO OF THEM...MAY SAMUEL HAV HIS GRAND PIANO SOON AND MAY MISS PRAWN LEE CONTINUE TO STAY CRAZY AND CHEERFUL.HAPPY BDAE HAPPY BDAE!!!!!!!!....samuel remember to get me rings from thailand.remember 'manly' haha

wahhhh...actually i kind of enjoy clubbing.haha i lik the loud music and the wawa mood there haha.i tink anyone could get high easily and free themselves.yes... i should go to club more often in the future until i m sian of it. damn damn damn...aaaarrr i was tinkin again if i should have signed for the july intake.too late even if i want to stay in spore now.my mum was telling me to juz go for it.i was so confused and troubled...wadeva it is, i tink i could not reach my final decision, but i pretended evrything will go as smoothly as she thought, hopefuly tat could have comforted her.she will miss me dearly as i would have.tell you wad, i m gonna miss stayin in spore.i miss how childish when i first came, i will miss how i did so well in school hehe, and of course i will have to miss how cute to experience love,friendship, yes not forgettin to miss my wahhh TAf club session,ccas,different from clubbin though.haha lastly i will miss my jc life.muach muach muach...i survived haha and struggled through it waha.capable indeed.jc life was the lowest and highest point of my life up till now.wah...so scary rite, is lik a roller coaster ride....i felt my heart beat so fast at some time and it almost died down at another point of time.life experiences hav neither substitutes nor complement.no firm would charge any price for an exchange, public goods, merit or demerit goods?it depends on the externalities..good or bad....i hope my life experiences would not hav cause a divergence between social cost and tat of my private cost.divergance may be good...if tat of private cost is higher...would anyone accept it?who is so stupid rite...tats y i tink market failure exists.not because it arises from bad effects of consumption or production but rather a social dilemma tat comes from within.thanx to econs.

i hate you!!!

i hav been bloggin but wher the hell my entries went.shit....everything juz bad. i m stressed!!! shitty decision and enough of forcing me to make a choice. i hate hate to stay alive. give a break...maybe i can die for lik a few hours to feel wad is dyin all bout. den i tink i would make a better decision of the steps in life. everything juz went berserk...my head...filled with things tat are redundant and stupid. juz lik how stupid i m. i trust no one and not even myself.

it's after A level! i ought to be more relax than bef. but it seems that i cant enjoy myself that much. my application to the hotel school is givin me lots of problem. so hate it. stayin in spore is turning to be an incentive. i have been goin out for the past 2 days...shopping is fun but can be tirin. huh....i muz remind myself to enjoy=0

dreams of hope

is not the 28 yet.but....

i dun think i could discipline myself well enough
i hav been goin from blog to blog reading wad is in the mind of others, juz another 2 weeks to go.hope everything would be fine.
i feel the sudden urge to talk bout macroeconomics policy. the econs paper ended my 2 year of siew cheng lesson. miss ng was tellin me tat i m a great student and the result will show. oh gosh...wad if the result doesnt show.haha anyway i would not be troubled by it. i still think that wadeva it is the 2 year of studyin econs was a sense of fulfillment. econs would bring back the fond memories of the se7en elitist in class and of course not forgetting our dearest ct ms flowery ng. the tension, excitement and ...many many weird stuff that we all did in class. trying to ask more question when knowin tat ms ng is goin through another part of the hw tat we neve did. borrowin books from other class if we forgot to bring....and not forgetting to look at the dress and shoes tat she would wear on tat day. for a moment , i feel lik pursuing econs in uni.i tghink i hav fallen for econs juz lik ms ng did haha. anyway...i dun think i will be stayin in spore for long. i hav decided to pursue my studies in hotel management in switzerland. i dun think my 2 years of A lvl would be wasted as many would have claimed. i luv bein in nj. i was proud to be part of the college, part of a01 , so8 and the art elective programme. i suppose nj hav given me the most in life. the struggle of me wanting so much to be an njcian, the friendship that fails and continues and the way how art developes me as a person.

i believe the next time i blog everything will come to an end.i am half dead.struggling to remind myself of the date of the exam.i need to get away from too much slp and the computer.go apri apui acai bedai apro!!!.it is time to get motivated.

28th 0f november!!!!THE END

you are neither here or there i plead harbour
a friend or a foe penitence no no
not both your back drudgery
i wish to share red selfish
to share cynical awesome
to share amazing hair
unlikely hatred gay
you will be there
reluctance goodbye
anger your life
past memories scared isolation
i keep

for a moment of time i was so happy tat i wished i could tell my closest friend how happy am i.

i feel isolated out of a sudden.
we come together,we crosspath and soon we become alone.
i miss
reminiscence
the essence of life
people
sealed predominantly in the heart

oh gosh. juz stop looking at me inconspicuously with great displeased.i dun think i will appreaciate ur f* attitude. its me so wad. hate me if u want. though i will forget and forgive, i juz wish to strangle you you at that point of time. i m so sick of some ppl around me. damn! life sucks. please stop makin mine suckier.

wah, princess hours! I haven even hav the chance to watch it. I realise tat Ken Ji is quite cool on stage. today tuitionin was quite enjoyable.hm he seems to get better in maths...of course great teacher here haha. I saw alot of cute capsules at jurong on sat, all the mini version of toys. I wish they all belong to me haha.den i shall not stop admirin them.haiz need to write my own testimonial again.shit... so crappy and a total waste of time.cannot blame the teacher.wads is there to write bout?besides a few similar comments lik pleasant ,helpful, friendly bla bla shit. i dun give much a damn but i hav to...errr how superficial we are.they should stop feeding us with testimonial. it is non-representative of us, i suppose. a lvl alvl... i m thinkin wad should i do after the exam.excited yet anxious....huh i get distracted so easily, tv,comp and shops...wah they are so irresistable. i keep thinkin of wantin to go out. how how!!??? wah lao i meet my ex classmates today,we used to keep in contact via smses. i feel bad for not bein tat friendly.she muz be thinkin tat i hav a weird temper. belajar belajar......acai!!!!!!

The fleeting of time. I m so slack.... I need to get serious. i must do my best. or i wont be happy.aprrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrri.shall not sleep too much=( bad bad bad.

everything seems like it wants to be replayed. I m excited yet disappointed. I know it won't turn out the way it is. I should have given up, given up long ago,but it comes back again..... i just want to be alone, alone so that i would not blame anyone. I dun wish to exploit others which I suppose i have a propensity to do so. I no longer feel comfortable in getting too close to anyone. I m so afraid of closeness. familiarity really breeds contempt. I apologize.

no more tracing for me.
I will miss art block and its atmosphere.
the people, the mess, and the often neglected paintings and other artworks and myspace.....

trace trace trace...some may argue the fact that it involves no skills in creating such a work. I find it otherwise. I realise that in art making, the ability to draw is a basic requirement. drawing has lose its attractiveness. while painting, i think i m still learning how to paint. tracing though seemingly easy might not appear as it is. tracing indeed involves less technical abilities...however it say alot bout my perception of art bein not juz a mere technical paper. juz like the Dadaist believes that everyone can become an artist. art too has reached out its limits of goin beyond a drawing paper and a canvas. the presentation of art and an artist perception of art differ through time. as i always thought it is pointless to tap on a diff task if one can try other alternatives to produce the same effect.in fact, tracing has allow me to accept and consider other media as an exploration. one should not perceive art as whether it is to our dislike or like. being open-minded would expose ourselves to greater acceptance. in life...there is no perfection. i learn to accept any treatment from others, though i might feel oppressed at some point of time. i also realise that the only way to stay happy or unaffected is to believe that at some point of time....no matter wad....there will be people that will treat us equally well as how we treats them.I feel so blessed.blessed with the sweet returns from others.
NJ aep rox!

idlee

i m bad,but who cares...some ppl are juz so bored that i cant stand them for long. i want to be excited and amazed at all times! especially during this period. haiz......i wish everything is over. i want to enjoy life to the fullest....dreams of hope. i m dreaming, dreaming that i could be a successful hotelier. i wanna work in big hotel. then pheng guan could get free membership card haha. OR, may be pheng guan should win toto. den i will have no worries going to cornell if i lik to.

hm... i used to lik to create a surreal landscape, dream-like where i can only see the things that i like.i was dreaming of becoming an architect then.maybe dali and escher are the first few artist i learn to know.their work impressed me.i neve know art exist in such forms.i learn that art could provide a platform for me to generate my likings for great structures.i used to like the ten wonders of the world.most of them are buildings, if i dun remember it wrongly.the time machine somehow also inspired me along the way.
life is beatiful?as i grew up i learn that i live in reality...i face the real sadness and hatred for things.i m so disturb by some things around me.it is no longer surreal.they turned real, somehow they start to disappoint me.it was so complex.surreality enables us to run away from logic.the hatred for rigidness and rules we must obey.juz lik a dream, it happens so coincidentally, without much effort or wanting to dream.creating an artwork may differs, constant struggles is needed to create our dream.dream may not be perceived as real,somehow to you and me it seems to be part of us.we cant deny the fact that our dream has come true...the art work is tangible.it expressed more than what it is-a dreamscape.

lucid dream

i only realise its existence today.30th apriL..time passed...i m grateful to the unknown.can you hear me=))