best treat for new year

goin to zurich tml, sanjay, sophia, me, amy and gipt. we are renting a car to drive north east from sierre. I m excited!

I think I lost you as I go along I lost myself. I am frustrated, frustrated as this goes on and on.

snow snow and snow

The weather is really bad, I mean, even in my room I can feel the freeze coming through the closed window pane of mine. Yesterday, I went to shopping trip to lausanne with gip and noon. I like lausanne, and shopping at Zara is definitely awesome. I bought a bag though I already have 3. hmmm....I really dont know wad I am doing, probably the sales make me go crazy. I dont know why, recently I m fond of buying neck ties and shoes. I should have felt guilty, but well I think I need those stuffs to pamper myself to make my life happier. It was really sweet, yeahh I dont want to gain weight, but it seems like I m putting on more weight without me realising it. 2 more weeks and various tests will be comin up, it is time to wake up and studyhard. I do hope so. well I dont miss anyone more than myself.

So one moment I was thinking of another thing and another moment I am back here...in front of my laptop screen reflecting wad should I post in my blog. This would be my first 08 blog of the year...yeahhh I m back in bluche and the life in bluche hasnt changed much. hmmm, another half a year or probably another year for me to be back in indo again. The feeling of being at home is simply fantastic and heart warming, yet yet, I have something to complain bout. In bluche, I live on my own, I lead my own life as if my life belongs only to myself, sometimes I do peek into others life and begin to interfere into things that i shouldnt. How stupid izzit? haizzz... in indo is another different matter, I stayed at home almost every single day, I was so tired of caring or looking too much into my family. Family matters, well I cant deny the fact tat it can be quite tiring if it matters tat much. hmmm... probably it is true, as people gets older they tend to prefer and even requests for their rightful freedom, the freedom to be alone would be one. Being alone may appear to others as pathetic, but at one point of time it is an act of honour, I admire those who really can stand alone despite the crowds sorrounding them.


I think I m amazing, I actually arranged all the flowers that decorate our restaurant, I spent almost a week arranging flowers, I swear I would not like being a florist, it was really tiring, to an extent tat i almost fall sick...hey hey, another thing tat might be quite an achievement for me is tat i have gotten two more artwork framed and hanged in our restaurant. One of it titled windows of despair.

life makes life harder

I have strong personality, I believe whatever I do is right. I hate to obey others even my parents. Tomorrow I will be going back to spore, I feel happy do I? well, not as anxious as 2 or 3 weeks ago. Internship is over, hell yeah is over!!! My mum was telling me to go back straight home on saturday morning when I arrived on friday night. It means I wouldnt have the time to meet up with some of my friends in spore. Everything doesnt go as it was planned. Damn.. I m really seriously tired, despite the fact that there is no more physical burden waiting for me. I m tired, tired of leading my life. I need some time to be alone, so probably going back to indonesia straight will be the best choice. Still I am swearing non stop...... I went back to school this morning and it was indeed a hell freaking tiring journey, see i can even here my roommate snooring, he doesnt do so often. Maru is sincere of sending me to the airport tomorrow, but seriously I prefer to go alone. I said goodbye to many others I met in La Reserve. I will miss all my teammates even though they once pissed me off. I will miss Agustian for bein lik an elder brother who never stops nagging at whatever I do, despite I still think I did a better job than he does. And I will miss leon who always grumbled at me and saying ' your face like shit!!!' all time, he is probably beacoming one of my best friend, well the f n b manager thinks otherwise. I will miss Sam for being my descendent who always tolerate my nonsense and abiding my instructions and finally I will miss all my chef de rangs. Simon for being rather gay and sweet, virginie-being the kindest woman I ever meet in life, Carine for calling me apricot, Romaric- my imaginary father, he calls me my son, christophe- being the funniest among the waiters who claimed that we are his only friends, mr vincent- my manager, who laughs at me for being two hours late due to over napping, jean luke- my '' best friend " at work, Sylvain- his young at heart never fails to bring smiles for me and many many more which i couldnt think of for the moment. Good bye to La Reserve and good bye to my last night and last post on my blog from switzerland and good bye to Geneva, a place which I dont intend to stay any longer haha. Now I am feeling sliughtly better. Like a friend once told me, internship life is a cup of coffee, rather I would say is more like a cup of expresso,I prefer expresso. Shortly and strongly brewed which bring a little bit of bitterness. It is time for me to enjoy the cup of expresso that I had made for myself. Likewise, it is always the perfect moment to be away from reality, moving against the direction of the train, looking at the outside scenery, light-heartedly thinking about what I should do as an art- the art of life.

happy belated bdae!!!

benny, I do hope that you are reading my blog. I juz came back from work and I realised that your Bdae has juz passed bout half an hour agao swiss time. Well, hope u will enjoy the outing with janvin and shengde. By the way, long time I have not heard from you, so hope that you are still doing your best in army while I m struggling hard to complete my internship. Sorry, no gift this year haha. hey, will I receive any belated bdae present from you?? anyway I dun remember you sending me any bdae msg?! do you?? haha well, is your bdae, I hope you will have never ending happiness, juz lik our friendship haha=) cya soon, miss you! haizzzz... I think You might not get as many present as last year haha since I m not around=P

third october

well I have not been updating my blog for more than a month. Whatever the reasons are. hm... I have 2 months more to complete my internship at la reserve, well I cannot imagine myself udertaking all the stupid tasks. stupid as it seems maybe I have learned more than becoming more stupid. In workplace I meet two very good friends who are also struggling like me to finish our internship in a 5 star honourable hotel in geneva. 5 star with a 1 star service as what we would always argue. But the fact is the name La reserve still regarded as one of the best leading hotels of the world and being member of design hotels added its attractiveness. The management system adopted by this hotel doubts me right from the start but as time passed, I realised that the few managers have actually done their best to uphold the hotel reputation as one of the best hotels in geneve. Studying hotel management is easy but to run a hotel itself is crazy. Managing and leading people is still the most difficult task to achieve. Right now, I am in deep thought of how successful one can be as a good motivator. Reducing inconsistency in a hotel environment is probably the best goal that hotels should aim for, be it a small or large chain. oh I miss going back to school attending hospitality classes.

updating!

yesterday night i was back in montana with lj. I was so afraid tat I couldnt slp well and would not hav enough rest. In fact, yes.... I went to bed at around 2 plus yet finding myself awake still at bout 6. wad the hell.......I was thinking, probably I slept more than 12 hours the night before. I m back in geneva again....and have to go back to work tml. huh...how shitty life can be. Each morning I hav to dread myself out of my bed.....and drag my feet to work. Physically and emotionally tiring. There is not much sense of satisfaction only until the night when i told myslelf that another day has passed. Life of a runner is indeed a struggle....a struggle that i promise not to repeat it again. I have to be strong and tell myself that there is only 3 more months to go....3 more months!!!!! hope I would survive through the end. The job bores me day to day. Talking to best friends online is still the sweetest moment I treasured. I hate to get sick so please let me be healthy=(

time goes by

benny!!! I miss you man! haha really looking forward to seeing you and shop with you again. You are still the BEST=) jia you! I will be there for you anytime, not physically though hahaha.

oui chef!!!

I would like to say that the worst part of my life adapting to shit has passed. yay! and I think no matter how little the internship may have taught me professionally, at least I did learnt something valuable in life. Working is indeed a struggle, cest la vie.... I do remind myself that I work for myself and not supporting others...how about those who have to feed their family. a fucking routine that I detested so much at start...now I take it rather lightly cause there is indeed something worth looking forward too. Thanx to evelyn and others who have shown so much care the past few weeks...it was probably one of the worst experience, only till now, I feel to have the courage to call home and inform my parents bout my condition. Imiss my family and friends.

complicated

I told myself i can, yet I cant. I received a very sweet msg from amy, she told me that she is at the airport and reminded me that I can always talk to her whenever I need love. I really miss bluche now...so desperately...working is tired and full of shit. damnnn...juz because for the CV or I think I would really like to quit. One step by a step, there is always two side to a story. I dont really know how to express how I feel right now, I only wish to be numb and try to be positive at all times.REally stressful, but who is there to help. My life belongs to myself and friendship is juz like the icing on a cake. I miss someone so badly.........=( hope she is fine and enjoying herself.

melody wasnt in the photo, but she was there by the school pool, or maybe she was the one taking the photo haha. Saturday duty was really enjoyable...the food was so good...and the chef is our food knowledge teacher Mr. Bider. I think I would like to say that I really respect him alot. His cooking is so fantastic, and everyone agreed that we have the nicest meal ever at market place. Moreover, I think he is really passionate about his cooking, cause he will go around asking students how is the meal, etc. Despite, today i was scolded by him for taking my dessert with my main course on the same tray. Well, at least I have alot of fun in the pool. The damn water was so colddd......I went back to change so that i would have my service uniform to wear for the dinner duty. People at the pool! you all rox=) I think I will never ever learn how to swim.
hahaha

I really don't know how I feel right now. The day has been bad due to insomia last night. I was so bloody hell tired, plus the cleaning of chairs and tables in market place. Because of me, maru and ros are not on good terms. I see the need to feel guilty yet helpless at the same time. Having test again tomorrow, got to study...but I am so lazy right now. I think i prefer stoning and listening to music. Tomorrow will be a better day! will it?

market place

I was so tired recently that I was late for food knowledge class this morning. I was rushing like hell and even brought my toothbrush and toothpaste to school. Tomorrow will be the food knowledge test...wasnt really prepared, hope everything will be fine. After tomorrow maybe I will be more relaxed and yes, can sleep slightly more. Have been staying in media centre these few days. I just dun feel like goin back to my room. Yesterday a la carte dinner with seho, jeff and hazel was quite pleasant. Oh ya nancy and melody were there too. Today market place was great, especially our team...we got 99 for table set up haha. The teacher was happily surprised, that was what he said. I wanted to start an art work themed house by the sea...but it seems a little too late now....still I wished I could complete the art work at least before year end. I really dun want to put art aside cause i know my years of studyin art will be wasted.

friendship a curse

Another worst day and a day not too good to remember. Fucking goodbye to this friend i knew for 5 months or so. Specifically is my roommate. Being too nice to a person is also a mistake. I really dun know wad should i do. In fact, I really do not need to do anything anymore. I m juz tired, tired from the complicated realations between ppl. Familiarity indeed breeds comtempt. I hate to say that I wouldnt want to be close to anyone again. Maybe is time for me to hackcare or even not to care. Fuck it...life sux but its life. It is definitely hard to erase anyone from our memory, but well it is not really my 1st time. I bet i really need to be more careful in future.

search you bloody conscience

I would really like to vent my anger on a particular person. Shouldnt hav pitied him in the first place. let his fucking problem troubles him. If he doesnt seek for forgiveness so be it. I dun wish to know him in the 1st place and fucking I know that I hav to face him everyday. In this kind of shitty condition he better beware. Cause he isnt the only one with temper and I dun wish to be friend or even share a room with someone full of crap and nonsense. Ungrateful ass, I would really wanna say that I hate you more than anyone else and it is time for me to take back my sympathy and do continue with ur fucking hell life. Who cares? at least i dun anymore.

only if u could

Accept finite disappointment but never lose infinite hope. I was indeed grateful to someone who could actually read how i felt. Even me myself wasnt aware that how bad the day was for me. hm...tired again, probably because of working in the market place. Well i believe that i m strong hah, despite the fact that i always put myself in a deep shit. There is no point seeking for goodness, if life meant it to be that way. Maybe is time to let go, live and forget.

your presence might mean nothin to you, but it means alot to others, especially me!

huhh.........

I hate the weather! It seems I will be falling sick anytime.I have been so temperamental recently, especially to someone. Yes, probably that person should stay away from me. My life keep turning as if it cant find the right momentum. things do change for the better. here, I only have a wish- may everyone around me stay happy and cheerful. Time to go to slp i guess. gd nite=)

I am just lazy these days to move anywhere except for my room. Working in market place was rather pleasant. At least there is something to keep me busy with. Even staying in the room the most enjoyable moment would probably be sleeping. I want and choose to be alone. Hope things will go on fine for the next 3 or 4 weeks.

it has been close to a week since we never talk. So screwed and pissed at the same time. I hate to experience such situation. Tense, hell and shit. I just hope that all this crap will end quite soon. Though, a strong doubt that it will happen. There goes our friendship......saddened, but there is nothing much i can do. Tired!